New Year

What is your New Year's Resolution, if you have decided on one?

Back to business

I’m trying to get back into the blogging. I’m sure it won’t last very long, but I think it will be my New Year’s resolution to write something every day on the blog, even if it is just a list of things I need to get done for the next day or my schedule or a rough draft of an article for the paper.

Today was a very good day at work. I woke up pretty early this morning and wasn’t very tired, but I tried to go back to sleep anyway. I got out of bed around 8:05 am, which is about 25 minutes earlier than I normally get up to be to work by 9. The extra time gave me the chance to shave my legs, condition my hair, blow dry it thoroughly, put on make-up, and eat breakfast. Naturally, this put the day off to a good start.

I was late to the cookie exchange, but Christie was kind enough to trade some of the cookies I made for some that she had collected. I took the rest of my cookies over to my old department to share with them for the day.

At the end of each of our terms, Cindy, my supervisor, takes the whole department out to a lunch of the intern’s choice. As the only intern for the department this term, I chose Bubba’s Sports Bar and Grill for their deliciously large portions and small prices. I spent my morning talking to my coworker Chris about a few things (some of which were even work-related) then we went out to eat at 11:45. We were gone for an hour. When we got back, I started working on the report I was supposed to write, since Neal had finally finished the template and run it by Cindy. That took me most of the afternoon. Now it is 4:30 and my day has passed wonderfully.

I have enough work to do and I know what I have to work on tomorrow. I know what work I have to do at home in the meantime. Life is good.

I guess on that topic, I can list my evening activities. No one really cares, I think, but it helps me to make lists. This weekend is “Cutler Christmas” at my grandparents’ house in Port Sanilac, so I have to pack for the weekend at their place. I have wrapped almost all of the presents that are going across the state with me this weekend, but there are a few left to take care of. I was also recruited to make my breakfast casserole on Sunday morning, so I need to remember to bring the breakfast sausage from my freezer. Obviously, I need to eat dinner, but I made enough food last night to feed me through five meals. It was delicious, too!

Recipe, for those who care (and because I can tell you and it might give you ideas or something):
1 box bowtie pasta
1 can chicken broth
1 bag frozen broccoli florets
1 lb chicken, cut into thin strips
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 bag frozen peppers (I used a “pepper stir fry” package that had onions, too)
1 cup finely shredded Italian cheese blend (parmesean and mozzarella at least)
garlic salt and black pepper

1. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Don’t kid yourself, either. You need a HUGE skillet. Put the chicken in the skillet with the garlic salt and pepper and cook it about 5-7 minutes, or until clearly cooked and potentially browning just a bit on the edges. Remove chicken from skillet.
2. This is the point where I would start cooking the bowtie pasta according to the package directions.
3. Add peppers, broccoli, and chicken broth to the skillet. Cover and cook about 5-6 minutes or until the broccoli is tender, stirring occasionally. I turned up the heat a bit for this step.
4. Add the chicken back to the skillet and cook another minute or so. Pour off some of the broth. Or most of it. Do what you want, I guess. I got rid of quite a bit of it.
5. Is your pasta perfectly cooked and ready to drain? Perfect! Do that!
6. Carefully fold the cheese into your blend until it is gooey. It should start being that way about as soon as it gets at all hot. Add the pasta next and CAREFULLY blend it all together. Be careful or you will make a mess. You have WAY too much shit in that skillet.
7. Put some in a bowl. Put the rest in bowls for four to six other people. You have enough. If you have no one willing to eat this delicious concoction in your home except you, put it away for later. It will keep in the fridge.  Also, you could put extra cheese on it.  It's even good when it's getting cold.

So, that’s what I’m dealing with. I like writing things and sharing recipes is something I might do more frequently on here.

<3

Current Feelings

Overwhelmed.
With work and the upcoming end of the term, I am starting to feel like I have a lot on my plate and very little time to get rid of it.

Stressed.
At work, I've been given a new project that my supervisor wants done before I leave.  It is approximately the equivalent of my thesis work, only slightly less intensive.

Content.
In general, I feel like I'm happier than I have been in a while.  I am satisfied with where I am right now, though I am working to be in a better place.  My old regrets are less painful, and new realizations work with only a dull ache against the general feelings of satisfaction.

Concerned.
I worry about my friends in general.  I am concerned that I am doing a poor job of being there for my friends and family as much as I should this season.

Regretful.
New regrets plague me more than those that were heavily on my mind for the last few months.  Now, almost all of my regrets focus on other friendships and relationships I have failed to properly maintain or to nurture.  I miss having more friends.  I had a "big sister" and a lot of friends.  I made some incredibly stupid decisions, but the worst of those was to lose contact with the people who had been there for me.

Proud.
I am proud of some of the small things I've been able to do.  I have successfully acquired all of the Christmas presents I need to get.  I have wrapped most of them.  I am going shopping tonight and cleaning my apartment.  I have spent my money in a way that I will have money left over after next school term if I continue how I have.  I made a blanket.  My work term is almost over.  I have not killed the cats that live with me.  I have made some closer friendships with coworkers.  I have been responsible and have had some good displays of priorities this term.  I feel that I have grown as a person through living by myself and doing this job.

On Tradition

I am quite sure that I distinctly remember loving the holidays as a child.  We got to travel and I got presents and the whole family was together.  I must have thought it was nice in my naive little world.  Now that the plague of adulthood has struck me down with disease that it brings - complete inability to be as happily ignorant as I once was - I suffer my way through the holidays.

I guess I don't really know how things go for anyone else, but around my family, the holidays have always been a huge stress.  I didn't notice it as much as a young girl, but as the years have gone on, I have become more and more aware of my mother's terse tone when discussing our plans and the women around the table making disparaging comments about this member of the family or another and how they never pull their weight for the celebrations.

My first issue this season is Thanksgiving.  When I was home to my mother's house two weekends ago, my great-aunt Janie, my grandmother, my mother, and I all sat around the table after our Sunday dinner and began to discuss our plans for the upcoming feast.  It seems important to note here that most of the family has negative feelings toward my cousin-in-law Pauline, who, with my second-cousin Rob, has four screaming little brat children.  They live out in the boonies and complain that things are too far away to go to, but rarely, if ever, offer to host anything but their children's birthdays at their house.  That fact came up, and Thanksgiving at Rob and Pauline's was immediately ruled out.  My mother works the day before and the day after Thanksgiving, so, while our house is perfect for hosting with a large and mostly empty finished basement, it didn't make any sense to have her host.  Aunt Janie's other child, Kathy usually does things with her husband's family on Thanksgiving, so they were out.  Aunt Janie finally offered that she could do it if we had anything, but with everyone else seeming to have plans elsewhere, it was up in the air. 

Last week, I got news that we were going to be celebrating Thanksgiving with my step-father's family.  Normally, if we do anything with Dean's family, we go to Ohio.  Around May of this year, though, Dean's brother Mark moved with his family to East Lansing to take his job with GM there.  We would be celebrating at Mark and Laurie's house. 

Dean's immediate family consists of his mother, her five children, four spouses, and ten grandchildren, the oldest of whom are me and my brother.  Laurie's parents are also coming to celebrate.  Dinner will be at 5 pm. This is very different for my family.  We do most holidays around 2 pm, and that's when everyone lives within half an hour.  I have to drive my ass all over the state that day and try to get the motivation to go shopping the next morning.  Really unsure how this is going to play out. When my mother offered a few choices of things she could bring to help out, Laurie seemed to think that all of those things sounded delicious and she should bring them.  All of them.  So my mom is stressed out making almost all of the food for Thanksgiving dinner, except the stuffing and the turkey.  I offered to take a few things off her hands, but apparently green bean casserole is the only thing with which she can trust me.

Here is the plan as it stands:
Tomorrow, I will work all day and go to the eye doctor.  After that, I will go home and make sure my cats have enough food and water for the long weekend.  Then I drive myself through holiday traffic to Rochester to go to dinner with Joe before spending the night at my father's house in Warren. 
Thanksgiving morning, I wake up and say some heartfelt prayers for my sanity and that of my mother.  I proceed to make green bean casserole in a crock pot to take to Mark and Laurie's.  It goes with me on a two-hour (under good driving conditions with no traffic or construction) drive to East Lansing.  I'm planning to get there around 2 pm or so.  I will have to entertain all of the kids, since my brother will probably not be attending.  Finally, we will get to eat at 5.  After dinner, I head back toward the Detroit area and stay with my father again. 
Friday morning, I wake up and try to get some shopping done while the deals are out.  I highly doubt I will be able to actually get anything good, but it's worth a try and I have to do my holiday shopping sometime...  Late Friday afternoon, I head up to my mom's house and help my step-dad get things ready for a dinner with my brother and grandma and some basic renovations the parents are doing.  I spend Friday night in Port Huron with my mom. 
Saturday, we might eat with Matt if he decides to answer the phone.  Either way, I am spending the evening in the Southfield area for Swindle's party and seeing some people.  I'm hoping that will be nice and relaxing, but knowing how some of my friends are when they have had a few drinks, I can't count on true comfort at that party.  Saturday night, I will either crash at Swindle's or stay sober and drive back to Rochester.
Sunday, I get to spend the day doing nearly nothing and hanging out with Joe's family.  Sunday afternoon, I depart for Allegan and go back to my reality of late nights in the office, as I am doing at the moment that I write this.
Total miles: 710, conservatively
Total driving time: 13 hours, 33 minutes at the speed limit

I think I hate the holidays.

Veteran's Day

It’s been a surprisingly stressful week. Not much has happened at work, but I’ve just been restless. I try to sleep a lot to make time go faster, but on the other hand, time is still moving too quickly. Too much is happening in the world and there is nothing I can do about it.


Here is a story. I met Betsy Burgess just before starting the sixth grade. My family reconnected with her family and they have been relatively close for the last ten years. I wouldn’t say that Betsy and I are particularly close friends, especially when compared to Emma, Kirsten, or Emily, but we have gone to each others’ birthdays and we were together through school for seven years including Confirmation and a very small middle school class. She and I always hung out in different crowds, but we were the link to the other group for each other. Betsy was more gossipy and popular than I was, as a general rule, and was friends with that higher class of teenagers. I was the nerdy drama kid who hung out with a completely different crowd. I disliked most of her friends and I’m quite sure she wasn’t particularly fond of mine, but we could be seen together at least once a week for something.

Betsy went to my church and my middle school, which was a big deal and guaranteed a lot of knowledge about the other person in so small a community as McCormick Catholic Academy. In our class of 25, there were only about ten to twelve girls, so we were at least relatively close. Betsy and I were involved in sports together, and when we split off to go into the high schools, the girls that went to Port Huron High School all got together and joined the tennis team to integrate ourselves into the high school scene. Thus, I stayed in sports with Betsy, and during our freshman year, our mothers formed a “Stitch and Bitch” club, in which a bunch of their friends got together without the men and spent time knitting, sewing, and talking about their problems.

Stitch and Bitch sessions were another opportunity that allowed me to spend time with Betsy. She and I would hang out upstairs while the women were working and talking, or we would go out or watch movies in the basement. It was a once-a-week social visit that seemed very out of place in our usual habits. Betsy has always been a gossip and she would generally take those opportunities to share with me how awful everyone else that I didn’t normally talk to was. I accepted at an early age that Betsy talks about people behind their back, and any person who thinks it doesn’t happen to them is an unhappy fool. I think that knowing Betsy was probably saying some nasty things about me when I wasn’t around helped my friendship with her. There were no illusions. I tried to just be a better person around her because I knew she would share anything I felt the need to share with her.

Another activity that brought us together out of the far reaches of our lives was historical reenactments. I would help her father (my history teacher) with reenactments of the French and Indian War and I had been doing them with her for years. Even though they constituted only two weekends out of my year, I loved doing the reenactments and Betsy and I always ended up spending a good amount of time together during them. I believe that the Feast of the Ste. Claire was the first time I met Shane.

Shane was Betsy’s favorite cousin. He was just a few years older than we were and they were very close. Later, I would see him at birthday parties and other events. We never really talked much, but I knew the relationship they had as friends and family.

Shane was killed during his second deployment to Afghanistan last Saturday. I didn’t even know he was over there until I heard he had been killed. Betsy talked to him frequently and tells me that he made it sound like he was perfectly safe over there. When I asked her if I could take her out to dinner, she easily accepted my offer. For the most part, we didn’t dwell on the topic, but she would talk about it every once in a while, peppering the conversation. She tells me that so many people have been asking if there is anything they can do and she just doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it. She went out with me because I had at least known him and known their relationship.

Today is Veteran’s Day. Shane’s body should be coming home by tomorrow and his family is preparing for his funeral. If you pray or think there is any chance at all that there is a God and he listens to us, pray for Shane Reifert’s family. Pray for the soldiers who are still fighting, those that have been injured, and those that have been killed in battle. Love your family and never take them for granted. Raise a flag, raise your hearts, and raise your voices. Pray for peace.

NaNoWriMo - Thoughts for Next Year

These really wouldn’t work with my current plot and it feels way too late to start over, but some ideas have come to me for next year’s writing challenge. Perhaps I will use them for April’s script month instead, though I doubt that will ever happen.

1. The Dream. Okay, so in September, I had a really bad dream. It started with me picking up a baby. I knew her name was Charlotte and she was mine. As I put her next to her twin brother, I looked at him for a moment in confusion then remembered that since it was a boy, we had decided to name him Joey. My brain, obviously trying to point out that this was a dream and made no sense at all, started counting backward, realizing that I had had regular menstrual cycles for as long as I could remember and nine months ago, I was not with Joe, though I knew they were his children. I was at my mother’s house and it was early October. I walked out into the kitchen and told my mom that I didn’t remember having the babies. I had no recollection of the pain that would accompany child-bearing. She was a mixture of angry and shocked, asking that I didn’t remember the blood and having the babies in the bathtub and all that came along with it? I didn’t. I knew that these things didn’t make sense. I walked into the kitchen and saw the date was a year in the future. I told my mom I had to call Joe and she said he wouldn’t talk to me anyway because I had cheated on him six months before that.



I will update with more ideas later, but it is the end of my work day.

NaNoWriMo - New Ideas

New Title:  The Autobiography of Emily Faye

Synopsis:  Toward the end of her life, Emily Faye (Parlan) (Muir) Dunham compiles her life story, using her father's video journal he left for her, her mother's writings about her from her pre-school days, bits of her own diary entries and blog posts, her half-brother's references to her in his own assignments, narrating before each major section.

Use same characters as mentioned, same basic outline of life, trials and tribulations and bullshit, a divorce, some bad stuff, some good stuff, maybe some futuristic science fiction or throw in a bit of post-alien contact stuff or something to make it more ridiculous.  Emily born in 1982, so timeline is a bit different and all time period entries will be adjusted accordingly from here out.

NaNoWriMo - Characters

Ben: sixteen years old, gets girlfriend pregnant and does not know, finds out about baby about a week before he is diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and given three months to live. Records video for unborn child documenting the important lessons he has learned in life, experiences that have brought him to these lessons, his hopes for the baby, discussion with Katie as to the name of the child, tells baby what he wants for her, etc. Tells story through the video. Will include his words and his facial expressions, and any background in his portions of story. Ben’s monologue takes place in 1999.


Katie: story told through prayer, we see her in Ben’s video, gets pregnant and tells boyfriend shortly before he is diagnosed with cancer, kicked out of her home and finishes high school with the help of Ben’s mom, Janie. Janie raises Katie and her daughter, helping Katie bring the child up as her sister instead of her daughter. Katie marries Manny at age 24 in 2008. Daughter serves as flower girl. Upon her engagement, Katie and Janie tell 7 yr old daughter Emily that she was adopted by her grandmother and she is actually Katie’s daughter. In 2010, Katie has twin sons, Tim and Tom, and five years later, she has a daughter, Elizabeth.

Janie: Ben’s mom, age is unimportant, probably around 40 when Ben dies, but tells the story in old age and in retrospect. Provides clues, hints, and foreshadowing as an overarching narrator and is opening character. She is very bitter and cynical, does not believe in God, and is generally very human in all of her storytelling. Perhaps develops a more compassionate character when discussing her granddaughter, has very low opinion of Katie’s parents, and takes care of business as it comes. Very strong woman. Ben’s father left them when he was seven and she feels no need for any man in her life.

Emily: Katie and Ben’s daughter, raised by grandmother Janie, spends youth believing that her mother is her older sister, but is not terribly shocked when she receives word otherwise. Tells her story through diary entries starting on the day that she is told about her biological mother in 2007. She is 25 years old for the majority of her story, though diary entries will span through some of her major accomplishments in life. She is very successful, and at the age of 25 just finished her Ph.D. in Microbiology, got hired into the FDA, and has been enjoying substitute teaching the science classes at the high school that her half-brothers attend for a few years. She got engaged to Engineering grad student Michael last year and is doing very well for herself.

Tim: Katie and Manny’s oldest son by barely an hour, very depressed. Tim is 15 years old when he attempts suicide. His story is told through suicide note and subsequent discussions with his psychiatrist. Needs more development.

Tom: Tim’s twin brother, very popular at school, fifteen years old, struggling with sexuality. Very close with half-sister Emily and tells most of his story in discussions with her. He comes out to her one day and has a lot of trouble dealing with his brother’s depression and violence. Sensitive and creative, but not “stereotypical”, Tim enjoys sports, avoids the drama club, plays trumpet, and has a strong knack for math. He seems very confident, but has a lot of internal struggle he can only talk about with his much older sister.

Elizabeth:  ten years old, no real voice, secondary character.  Tim and Tom's younger sister.
Manny:  secondary character, no real voice, Katie's husband, Tim, Tom, and Elizabeth's father.  Good parent and role model.
JoAnn and Ron Jacobson:  Katie's very religious parents, not seen much, kick her out of her home when they find out she is pregnant

Stress!

It’s been a slow week. I have had nothing to do in the labs. I have been working on two or three projects, but not too much. I’ve mostly been taking things at a steady pace, making sure I do everything right the first time, and doing a lot of emailing during my work day.

All of a sudden, today happened! I got into work and was told immediately that I had made a pretty big mistake with document control and my report had to be re-written. After getting that news and having the mistake explained to me, I got to turn on my computer. When I opened up my Microsoft Outlook, I had eleven emails waiting for me, six of which were urgent, and one of which was from Isaac Meadows, Editor-in-Chief of The Technician, the school newspaper.

The emails were mostly regarding urgent projects and the cleaning groups being generally pissed off at the labs (my group) for not thinking their individual projects are the highest priority and not having their stuff done yet. So now we have to get ALL of their work done for them so we stop getting harassing emails.
Remember when I told you all my grade point for last term? Yeah, I’m thinking resuming my position as Assistant Editor probably sounds like an awful idea. Here’s what I wrote to Isaac (stupidly):

“Hello Isaac,

You know that I am, as always, very interested in the continuing improvement of the student newspaper as a whole. I would love to continue as Assistant Editor, but I have a few worries about filling the position. Last term, my GPA was dismal. I am aiming for a 4.0 next term, which shouldn't be too unreasonable if I can focus properly and always have time to finish my schoolwork. Last term, the Technician had a few long nights associated with it that I'm not sure I would be able to help out with. I will give the Technician all of my extra time, but I don't know if I can make any promises to be at any meetings besides our normal lunch meetings, and even then, I may have common hour exams on occasion.

As far as goals go, I would like to recruit more staff members and keep our current trend of expanding content to fill enough pages. I am trying to work on a few people that could contribute tech articles and/or reviews of new products or comparisons or something of the like. I have also been working on recruiting more students who might like to get into the advertising aspect. If all else fails, Marian and I can do a bit of that, as discussed last term.

I believe my plan at the end of last term was to try to run the micro edition, including gathering content, maintaining relations with the Rec Center and Greek Life to keep their news coming in, and writing any filler articles that are needed at "crunch time." I am really not very comfortable with layout, but I know I can do copy editing on those articles very easily, especially on such small editions. I would like someone who can dedicate themselves to putting the articles together in the proper layout. Besides that, I think I can handle the weekly edition.


Does that sound like a good plan?”


After that email, I immediately got to work on talking to people about writing and advertising. Joe sounds like he could be writing tech reviews and comparison articles for the non-ME crowd. I appreciate that mostly as someone who is really bored of reading about cars. I texted Jeremy to ask if I could pay for use of his Thirsty Thursday posts from his humor blog. At this point, he seems to be looking only for credit, but I’m still working on making sure he gets due compensation.

I have three method validation reports currently open on my desktop and just had to find a signed report that Kim had written. It was hiding in my drawer, but she was very able to tell me where it was when I texted her about it.

Today will be busy with all of my work, then tomorrow, I will be busy with meetings, social events, and real work while I am here. My supervisor is on vacation tomorrow, cider and donuts are being served in the break room in the morning, I have a meeting with my old supervisor to discuss my thesis project at 10, I have to take lunch sometime, Irina’s farewell party is at 2:30, and I am meeting Joe in Kalamazoo for dinner around 6:30.

Ahh! Busy busy busy bee. Hopefully, I will start working on NaNoWriMo stuff this weekend. I am very much looking forward to some relaxing time with another person in my apartment instead of just the cats. It’s also nice to not have to drive all over the state this weekend. I’ll leave that to someone else.

 <3

Knowledge

I want to start college over.  I want to have everything I know now and do it again.  I want to do it the right way this time.

I could do better.

The Truth

I lie.

I lie and it helps me sleep at night. I lie to myself until I believe it enough to face my day with no tears in my eyes. I convince myself to be emotionless. Nothing can break me. Not in public anyway.

The truth is, just because we are young doesn’t mean we are going to get over it.
The truth is that I am not happy.
The truth is that I have two regrets in my life.
The truth is that I have hurt people.
The truth is that music doesn’t help anymore.
The truth is that I fear winter more than anything.
The truth is that I am afraid of myself.
The truth is that I am disgusted by myself and my choices.
The truth is that I could have stopped.
The truth is that I didn’t want to.
The truth is that I am scarred.
The truth is that I cry most days.
The truth is that I know I am not normal.
The truth is that I don’t want to be different.
The truth is that I’m not that good at what I do.
The truth is that I wish I knew how to get away from all of it without hurting anyone else.
The truth is that I drive too fast without my seatbelt when I am tired.
The truth is that I'm not ready.
The truth is that I don't know.
The truth is that I can’t do it.

Jeremy

At least you are mad at me now. I know that is something I had coming to me. All the apologies in the world won't make up for what I did, but I hope you know that I am genuinely sorry and always will be. My constant thought is that I wish I could go back and do anything at all to not hurt you like I did. I would do anything to have talked to you about things or tried harder or just not do what I did.

You were wonderful, and I know we can never be friends again. I wish you the best and hope everything really will turn out fine, as I keep telling myself.

If you ever need to talk to me or want me in your life, I will be waiting as long as it takes, even knowing it would never happen.

Thank you for everything.

The Weekend

I’ve been at work for only three hours, but it already feels like it has been a long day. This may or may not have anything to do with waking up at 4:30 in Rochester to get ready for work and drive 3.5 hours to get here. Actually, I think it’s probably related to that.

So I’m going to share a bit of information that will make me glad my mother doesn’t even know I have a blog, let alone the URL of it. Currently, my GPA for last term is a whopping 0.90. That’s right, kids! At this point, I have UNDER a 1.0 for the term. Mind you, a large chunk of this will be remedied when my four-credit Communications class grade is amended from the current F to what I am guessing will be a B+. My professor seems to have forgotten grading my resume, cover letter, and thank you, and she claims to have never received our 300-pt mini-thesis. Fortunately, I am quite sure I have the resume, cover letter, and thank you (another 300 point total) at home, all with grades in the 90s, despite being turned in a bit late. The mini-thesis is saved on my home computer and an external hard drive, so that will also be no trouble.

In other classes, I gained a D in physical chemistry (have to ask the prof about this one, too. Just wondering what I got on the final more than anything…), a D+ in biochemistry, which I will thankfully never have to face again, a C- in p chem lab, and an INCOMPLETE in biochem lab. That one was actually my fault and I’m working on fixing it. None of these things could spoil my weekend, though.

I just spent an amazing weekend with my boyfriend. My Friday was pretty long and terrible, and my “work” ended with driving for nearly four hours through Lansing and Flint rush hours to get to Rochester to see Joe. When I got there, I was exhausted, sore, and afraid of the fact that my car is literally falling apart. I had nothing left and my soul was feeling quite crushed after contemplating my recent failures throughout a long, silent, and lonely drive. I was frustrated and on the verge of tears for the last segment, just wanting to get to something I could call home. I parked my car, grabbed my necessary items, and dragged myself toward the door from the garage, feigning a smile for his mother along the way. As I approached the door, it was nonchalantly thrown open by Joe and I practically collapsed into his arms, forgetting for a moment that his mother had followed me inside and kissing him in the laundry room.

The rest of the weekend went smoothly, and included me meeting their family friends, enjoying a lot of time sitting in bed in pajamas and watching TV, my first time trying sushi, two movies, and some window shopping. Joe, thank you so much for taking care of me this weekend. Thank you for not letting me run on impulses or forcing myself to do other things. Thank you for understanding me better than anyone else. Thank you for loving me and being there when I need you and letting me lean on you, even when you might feel like you need to rest. I love you.

Also in other news, I have work to do. Unfortunate, but true. Maybe I will update later, as I have committed this evening to sitting at home with my cats and essentially doing nothing. Thanks for reading my pointless ramblings, I suppose.

Autumn Fall

I always hate fall term. It’s strange to be at work for an hour before the sun comes up, and this is still early in the term. Soon, the snow will begin falling. With the lake effect just right here in Allegan, we get some of the most snowfall in the state. My walk to work will soon begin to involve slipping on the ice and falling hard on my rump. What a great time!

Besides the fun of nearly breaking my tailbone every time I traverse the two-block span between my apartment and my job, this is a season of holy days and family gatherings. O Joyous Season, how I loathe thee. With my promised raise, I should be able to afford basic Christmas gifts for everyone and a nice birthday present for my boyfriend. Nice of that raise not to be on my first paycheck… Perhaps this issue will be resolved, or perhaps HR will simply say “hmm, I don’t remember saying you were getting a raise…” How I love the Department of Human Resources. Ever useful, ever helpful.

I am alone this term. I share my apartment with two cats and my guitar, and none of those chip in for the bills. I fear heating my apartment or turning on lights or leaving my power strip plugged in while I am away. Normally, I would have Randel to split the bills and to help with the cats (to which I am becoming increasingly allergic.) He is studying in Germany this term, leaving me alone in a cold apartment, paying full utility costs, budgeting for the holidays, school, travel, and food for the next six months in every spare moment, and trying to remember those less fortunate than I this season. Things would be simpler if I made as much as Randel had made his third term here. Things would be easier if we had the same starting salary or I had received any raise my first year, or any equivalent raises, or the raise I was promised for this term.

Ha. I am like a rapper all the time, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind. I almost wish I could stop. I want to be able to be more selfless like Kate or Kirsten or some of my more liberal friends. But I have seen how that hurt my mother. I can see the debt piling up around her because she never cared about her money. She never budgeted or payed attention to her spending. She would give to charities, then to the charity of herself. She put my brother and me through nine years of Catholic school. We give money to the church, our clothes to Goodwill or the Salvation Army. I haven’t bought groceries yet this term, because I had to borrow the money from my father to pay my rent. I do not spend. I will hold my money as long as I can without buying anything, and then I barely make ends meet. Most of this goes into tuition, some into food, though I manage to avoid that most of school term. Honestly, a good portion go into gifts. Friends and family will get nice presents. Emily will get a piñata full of candy for her birthday. Everyone in my family will get stocking stuffers and a normal gift. Joe will get a surprise, as I know he is reading this. Kate and Tim and their baby will get anything I can afford to get their family started off right. I will work every minute of overtime I can actually find things to do at work.

I have been rambling long enough, I think. Thanks for reading my nonsensical conversation with myself. I guess my New Term Resolution is to Figure Out A Way.

Little Victories

“Hey Christina?”

I jumped, startled at Natalie’s voice calling me. “Yeah?” I responded, turning toward her, where she was standing in her lab coat.

“You haven’t seen Neal, have you?” I breathed a small sigh of relief. She hadn’t noticed that I was wearing my normal glasses instead of my safety glasses. I had just run to the printer to get a set of data I had just printed and opted out of throwing the big, bulky safety glasses on over my prescription lenses, despite knowing there was a lab audit in progress.

The reasons I don't like the glasses that go over the glasses is quite obvious...

I pointed toward his office and started saying something about his computer. Apparently, she had checked back there already. “Not very recently, then. Sorry.” I turned and headed back to my office, winding my way through the lab without being noticed.

It’s all about the little victories.

Also, hello. I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. It's nice to be back.

School

I have not been putting as much into my education as I should this term. I'm sitting in Biochemistry right now. I am paying no attention at all to the bond angles of a beta-pleated sheet of protein, nor do I intend to learn what the hell is going on with it. I am on facebook and updating my blog.

So, what has been happening in my life?
I really have no idea. I've been doing school and hanging out with people and trying to have a good time. My grades are alright, but not particularly good. I don't care about school as much as I should. I've tried to be there for people this term. I think I have failed in that so far. People are unhappy with me and I have been making the wrong decisions. I have let down my groups in several classes. I have spent very little time with my boyfriend, even knowing that that would destroy our relationship. I have ignored my health in the pursuit of something I can't define. I have started addictions to caffeine. I have been drinking more this term. I have been spending time with one very small group of friends. I have become absorbed in music rather than work. I got a tattoo.

You say you've got the cure, but I don't have a disease
You say you've got the answers, but I've made no inquiries
And you're failing, you're bailing
Good God, motherfucker, now I hear you're flailing
I see you flailing

So many songs are defining me right now. I don't think I ever wanted people I knew to read these posts. I guess I want to talk about things that I don't want people to see. Judgment sucks. Everyone judges and I don't want my friends to see me as I think I am.

Girls' Night

So, I'm hanging out with my lovely friend Kate. We are having girl time. This means we are watching a How I Met Your Mother marathon, having Starbucks, pasta, and smoothies, and talking about girly stuff. It's something I really enjoy.

Item 1: I go to Kate and Tim's apartment. I have been to Fenton and specifically their apartment several times before, but somehow I always get lost on my way to the place. I had to call Kate and ask her where I was and where to go.

Item 2: I got here and REALLY had to pee because I drank an entire Arizona since deciding to start my drive down here. So I got in and had to use the bathroom before I even got to give her a hug. Then I got to marvel over the extensive bookshelves they have filled in the office. :)

Item 3: We started watching How I Met Your Mother. Season One is going pretty well.

Item 4: We ran out to Target and got smoothie materials and Starbucks. Then we came back and continued watching How I Met Your Mother. Also, I found a guitar and this netbook. Also, we made spaghetti and sauce. By "we" I mean "Kate."

Item 5: We might potentially go to the beach. Probably not, but it could happen.

Streetlight Manifesto!

Alright! It's Thursday, and the very LAST Thursday of this work term! Last term, I celebrated the end of the term with a sweet rave on the night before my last day of work. This term, I make a different, but probably equally stupid decision on the night before my last day of work.

This afternoon, I am getting out of work at 2 pm (after coming in at 6 am) and walking home. I plan on getting into my vehicle directly, where I expect Barrack to be waiting for me. I then drive to Flushing, where I can drop Barrack and all of his stuff at Eric's house (and Cara might be there too?) I leave immediately and drive to Greg's house in Beverly Hills, MI, where I get in another car with Chris Jordan and Greg. We drive into Detroit to the Magic Stick, where we will be seeing Supervillains and Streetlight Manifesto and some opening band I don't know. Doors at 6:30. I imagine we will get out of there around 10, if we are lucky. Then it's back to Greg's to retrieve my car and a three-hour drive home for work in the morning. Rockin'. I'm actually quite excited about this, despite the fact that I will clearly lose a lot of sleep and between the ticket and the gas money, I'm spending a RIDICULOUS amount of money on this concert.

After work tomorrow, I'm going to have to clean out the rest of my apartment, as that went downhill last night as soon as I finished the laundry, dishes, and cleaning out my room.

Facebook

Amazing things happened this night on facebook.

I thought I ought to share those things with you.

Goodnight! I love you!

Faygo

So, I get to study abroad next fall term. More on that later. In the meantime, I thought I might want to share an email that my dear friend Greg sent me the other day:

The subject of the email is "My baby takes the mornin' train..."

"You should totally work this job, quality control for Faygo:
http://jobview.monster.com/Quality-Control-Intern-Job-Warren-MI-US-56867060.aspx"

My reply was "Too bad I have a job for now, huh?"

Greg: "That’s the beauty of it; you go study abroad and then come back and work for Faygo! Then you remember how awesome/sexy your friend Greg is for coming up with this amazing idea and give him all the Faygo he can drink. I like this plan."

I found it entertaining. Sounds like a fun job, but I'm comfortable here. Also, pretty sure Faygo doesn't have any idea how Kettering's program works and probably isn't that interested in finding out.

Last Week of Work

Every day of this week is going to feel like Friday. I came in at 9 today and still have just over an hour of work left. Barrack is at my apartment and I want to go home. We are going to go hang out with Brandon tonight. I finally have music back, via John. We are getting along pretty well and I am very happy to have my iPod back. I finished a 166 page report today. I got satisfactory results on my end-of-term assessment from my pseudo-supervisor.

Life is good. No idea what I'm going to have to do for the rest of the week. Honestly, tomorrow, I'll probably write an analytical report and go to a long meeting. Wednesday should be a similar report and meeting. Thursday, I won't have much, but will be anticipating the Streetlight Manifesto concert all day. The concert is that night, and I'm dropping Barrack off in Flint. Friday, I'll probably take a half day and spend time on either end of work cleaning the apartment up. Then it's back to Flint to move in.

I am going to try to update every day this week, but Sunday morning, I leave for Alaska and won't have internet for a week. Once school starts, I don't know how frequently I can update, but I imagine I'll spend a lot of time in classes "taking notes" and actually writing my opinions. I should have time to type them up before bed some days. Hopefully, I can remember to keep writing. It makes me feel better about things.

Also, on the topic of writing as therapy, I want to thank you, Kate. You are an awesome blank slate, and you let me write down my thoughts at you, but you are even better than that. You ask me the important questions that let me see what I'm saying. Thanks, love.

The Things I Want - Part 2

I have a lot of goals in my life. I want to be able to do things.

I want to be an expert. I want degrees in every sort of field. I really want to be able to answer people’s questions.

I want to be happy. I want to be able to attain all I want in life and reach contentment.

I want money. I want to be able to afford my life and never live above my means. I want to save up and do things one at a time.

I want ambitious children. I want my kids to be able to do what they want in life. I want a better world for them. I want to afford to give them every opportunity – gymnastics, ice skating, swimming, hockey, other sports, books, puzzles, and whatever else they want to learn.

I want people to be happier. I want others to get along and live well.

I want to find balance. I want to have work friends and home friends, family and my career, and all the time in the world to do what I want to do.

I want to find a cure. I want to fix something. I want to find the treatment of cure for something, even if it’s a very uncommon disease or infection. I want to make life better for a family or two by figuring out how to give their loved one a higher quality of life.

I want to teach. I want to help others reach their goals through education. I want to teach college level classes when I retire from whatever else I end up doing in my life.

I want to read. Oh, I want to read everything. I want to know every famous piece of literature and really know about things through reading.

I want friends. I want to always have the quality of friends I have now. I have amazing friends, but this is college. What will happen when I’m out? Will I be able to keep those friends? Will I make new friends at work or outside of work after college?

I want to be debt-free. I want to have the money to work my way up one piece at a time, without borrowing money from anyone. I want to be independent and not owe anyone anything. I want to live comfortably through my own work.

I want to help people. I want people to help themselves. I want to be an educator and a resource. I want to provide a means to a better life. I want to personally be able to offer jobs to people who need them.

I want a scholarship in my name. I want to encourage people. I want to be successful enough with my own education to be able to give back to the community through donating my money to others who are working as hard as I have to get to where I want to be.

I want a sweet volcano lair for practicing mad science. That would be SO COOL!

I want a family. I want the love and stability of a family. I want the drama and the late nights helping with homework or trying to console a screaming baby. I want the sense of accomplishment at sending my children off to school, seeing them happy through their own doing and my encouragement. I want the challenges and the love of a family.

I want to write. I love to write. I want people to be able to see the world through my own eyes and my small niche in society. I want to write technically and socially. I want to write fiction. I want to write facts. I want to share something with the world.

I want an awesome car, but I want to be able to afford it. I want to have my own midlife crisis. I want to have done a lot at that point in my life, and then decide at that point to get another degree and a red 2039 Corvette and other ridiculous things I don’t need. Especially a pool boy.

I want land. I want a pool. I want to buy land and have a small house built on it. I want to add on as necessary and as money permits. I want to get a pool when my children want to start swimming and having pool parties.

I want to know what happens. I want to get to that point. I really hate not knowing if things are going to work out one way or another. I want to know what is going to happen and how things are going to work and get to the point where I’m in my “happily ever after.” I will probably never get there, but I want to be content and have what I want.

I want to believe. I want to be sure of all of my decisions. I want to know that things will work out. I want to know that my God is real. I want to believe in myself and that I can do it. I also want to know what’s going to happen in the stock market in the next fifteen years. That would be nice.

I want to lose weight. I want to stay thin. I want to be beautiful and I want people to know it. I want to be in shape after I have kids. I want my children to be teased about having a hot mom. I want my husband to always be proud to take me out and around. I never want the passion to die.

I want to cook. I want to be able to cook like my mother. I want my kids to go to friends’ houses and have to lie a little bit about thinking the food is good. I want them to never have a meal that is better than their mother makes.

I want to take photographs. I want to take pictures of my whole life and have memories to pass down generations.

I want to live.

The Things I Want - Part 1

Sometimes I want to write something deep and meaningful on here. I want to write what I"m thinking. I want to delve into a topic.

I can't do that. I only get to update when I'm at work. I have enough time, but can't really be caught writing for twenty minutes to sort out my feelings on a topic. I think I have a lot to say about things, but I fear I will never get to write them down.

There's life for you.

New Position and New Thought Process Through Discussion

I am proud to say that I am the new Assistant Editor of our school's newspaper at Kettering University. I just got word that I got this leadership position when our Editor-in-Chief texted me last week. I was very excited because I take a lot of pride in my work on the paper and have been working hard this term to make sure we have things written for the first edition of the paper. I personally assigned myself about 8 articles, most of which are compilation pieces.

Okay, so I was going to write an article about health and safety, especially in the zone of sexual encounters and avoiding sexually transmitted infections. When I started having this discussion, I knew I wanted to talk about barrier birth control, disease rates and statistics, getting tested with your partner, discussing your sexual history, and different infections’ symptoms, treatment, and duration. The more I thought about it and talked to Someone Else, the more I realized that it’s hard to talk about these things. There was way more that I needed to cover! How do you not sound judgmental when you are talking about STI’s? People make mistakes and sometimes have to live with them for the rest of their lives.

We are in college. For some of us, casual sex will make an appearance in our lives sometime soon or it already has. For others, this article is completely unnecessary, as they are waiting for a certain point in their personal growth, be it “the one”, engagement, marriage, or any other prerequisite. I do not have any right to condemn or condone anyone’s actions or beliefs on the subject of physical intimacy. I am personally a very physically and emotionally intimate individual. I hug all of my friends in greeting and usually kiss them on the cheek. I touch people when I am talking to them and am comfortable with them doing the same. Different people have different comfort levels with physical intimacy.

When I started thinking, I didn’t know if I was writing to address attitudes or actions. I want to talk about actions, but realized I was thinking about it the wrong way. Safety is my concern. The conversation sparking this line of thought follows.

Someone Else: “You asked me for ideas. I thought maybe you could write about babies. You know - fair buying, selling, trade. Proper techniques on making or not making them. Recipes.”

Me: “You are being ridiculous. Even on a serious note, I don’t think I know any Kettering students with babies. It really wouldn’t appeal to our target audience. Don’t get me wrong. I love babies. I just don’t think it’s the best topic for our readers. Besides, I think they know how it’s done. Most of us know what’s going on with that at this age. What questions do you think they would have that I could answer and the internet wouldn’t? I want to touch on sexual activity in a wellness article about STI’s, but I don’t know where to start.”

S.E.: “The buying and selling is most definitely in jest. I know only one Kettering student with a baby and I'm pretty sure he is married and gone. *Shrug* I doubt that you could be any more informative than the Internet, but perhaps you could present it in a mildly humorous fashion. Again you make a good point, as Kettering students are much more likely to encounter an STI than a baby-having situation.”

Me: “I think most KU students are smart enough to know how not to have babies. They aren’t necessarily smart enough to use barrier birth control as one of their methods, which helps prevent the spread of infections and diseases. Just because you use birth control doesn’t prevent diseases. That’s how people get herpes. Way to go. I hope they learned their lesson and will wrap that business up in the future.”

S.E.: “I would hope so but, as my grandmother is quite fond of saying, "Common sense ain't that common." Though in that situation, is it not the responsibility of both parties to A. be aware of an diseases they are carrying and B. to inform their partner, regardless of using barrier methods or not? I know that there are some diseases in which one partner or the other is merely a carrier, but I would think for the most part that people know if they have an STI. Granted, I'm not the most experienced at the "sex with multiple partners" thing, and could easily be wrong, but that's why you’re writing the article, correct? Then again, I guess responsibility usually goes out the window when the potential for naked women is involved.”

Me: “A friend of mine told me a story. She was very attracted to a kid in one of her classes. They started flirting, then hanging out a bit, then they were drinking and hanging out and started being intimate and one thing led to another. They used a condom, but it broke. He seemed worried, and she said she was on birth control and it wasn’t too big of a deal. He said that he usually gets tested regularly, but hadn’t been tested in a while. He had no symptoms of anything since his last sexual encounter with someone he described as “questionable” but hadn’t actually been tested. She went for testing, which was pretty expensive. She was fine, but the point is that a lot of people won’t discuss their sexual history with a new partner. They will have a sexual encounter on a whim with someone they don’t really know as well as they should. My article will focus on knowing your partner, getting tested together, and avoiding whim sex.” THIS IS WHERE I WENT WRONG IN MY THINKING.

S.E.: “Such stories seem to be discomfortingly commonplace in society today. It's good that she was alright but would further discussion have kept the condom from breaking? Don't get me wrong, I'm all about honesty, ESPECIALLY when it comes to matters of health and safety, as intimacy so often does. Is your article going to cover other forms of sexual contact and how they should not be undertaken on a whim, or just intercourse?”

Me: “Further discussion would have made her think about the fact that this was GOING to be a one-night deal. She said that if she had known his history, she would not have done that “in the heat of the moment” that night. If they had continued to get along and hang out and it had started to turn into a real relationship, she would have gone with him to get tested, they would have talked about it, and it would have been able to happen in a different moment. Of course I will cover other forms of contact. Vaginal intercourse isn’t the only way to spread diseases. Something like 20% of the adult American population has herpes simplex. I bet most people don’t know that.”

S.E.: “I know both of those things. Back when I was first diagnosed I did a lot of research on the other STIs out there. Truly frightening it is that people are so willing to put themselves at risk with the casual sex. I'd say that it's a lack of education; no one is that dumb to take their life in their hands that way if they knew all the dangers out there. And your article is hoping to address the attitude that casual sex is okay? Or is it going to discuss how to do it safely?” THIS IS WHERE I REALIZED I HAD GONE WRONG IN MY THINKING.

Me: “My article has to address safety and facts. I have absolutely no right to judge anyone based on their comfortable level of intimacy with other individuals, be they cis- or trans-gendered, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, confused, or any other variation. I think that people just DON’T know the dangers. I am only here to educate. I want people to be safe. I want disease instances to go down nationally. I want people to be able to talk to each other. I am not going to be able to do all of those things, but at least I can get students who read our paper thinking a little bit about the choices they make.”

The Things I Love - Part 1

I was incredibly happy to start this job and find that I had my own lab coats with my name on them. I love having a lab coat to myself.

Article Ideas

While I am fully aware that there are better places on the internet than my blog to post this stuff so I won't lose it, I'm going to put it here anyway.

Meme of the month: Dominic’s meme article for the humor section

Nerd/Geek News: New movies, technology, and whatnot that feed all of our inner nerds at Kettering.

What We Love About Kettering. And the interesting part.. what they don't love, AND what they are going to do to change it. Not a negative article. For every downside, present a solution that people can get involved with.

Tips From Upperclassmen – try to collect study tips and other ideas for balancing class load with extra-curricular activities, such as listening to audio books to read your humanities assignment while at the rec center or making food.

Guide to Student Activities – email the presidents of every club on campus. Whoever replies gets their information (brief description of their club’s activities in the club’s own words and meeting time/place) printed in the article.

STUDENT ACTIVITIES PAGE!
Society of Women Engineers (SWE) meets on the 3rd Floor of the Campus Center in the Women's Resource Center, Wednesdays of even weeks at 12:20. Lunch is provided.
Members of SWE at Kettering regularly participate in volunteer activities, such as interactive science experiments at the Flint Children's Museum or being a teaching aide at the Smarter Girls Day Camp. SWE will also be selling "Love an Engineer" T-shirts in the Great Court, 3rd week Tuesday-Friday over lunch for $10. This money will go towards funds for our annual trip to the SWE National Conference. The National Conference is in Orlando, FL this year! SWE will also be hosting a Mr. Kettering competition, more information to follow soon. During the winter term, we host a weekend long expo for high school girls to come check out Kettering and spend time doing hands-on classroom demonstrations.
SWE is a great way to get involved in the community and school, and a great place to meet new friends! And SWE is not just for the ladies, the guys are welcome to join too! For more information, contact: Chelsey Crabtree, crab5055@kettering.edu.

My name is Khadijah and I am the president of the National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE) for this school year. NSBE is a national non- profit organization that encourages African Americans to stimulate and develop student interest in the various engineering disciplines. Also, we strive to increase the number of minority students studying engineering at both the undergraduate and graduate levels. Our chapter takes part in community outreaches, study sessions, and providing information on engineering, scholarships, and job/career placements. We meet every Monday during the term in Room A at 6pm. Dinner is provided and all students are welcome, regardless of ethnicity.

I am the president of the Outdoors Club. The outdoors club has the largest student membership of any Kettering organization with over 100 active members. During summer term we raft the lower New River in West Virginia over Labor Day weekend. During winter term we ski/snowboard at Nub's Nob in Harbor Springs. This summer term we will be having three meetings before the rafting trip. They are usually located in either 1817 or 1819 during lunch and food is provided. The first meeting will be to get the word out about the trip and get people interested. The second meeting will be to collect waivers and deposits and the third meeting will be to finalize driving arrangements. The raft trip comes at the perfect time during the term as it breaks up the monotony of a ritualistic class schedule. It is by far the funnest thing you can do as a Kettering undergraduate. Last year the scuba club and cliffhangers also came. We usually head down on Friday, camp, and spend Saturday rock climbing/hiking/swimming. Sunday is when the rafting happens and generally people camp Sunday night and drive home Monday because a full day of rafting takes most of the energy out of you. New members are always welcome and if anyone has any questions they can feel free to contact me in person via email (adam8133@kettering.edu) or phone (612-669-5123). Our facebook group is available to anyone in the Kettering network and has the most up to date information regarding meetings

The Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers (SHPE) is the leading social-technical organization whose function is to enhance the potential of Hispanics in engineering, math and science. This is done through promoting professional and personal growth, and emphasizing the value of education, professional pursuits and leadership. This organization welcomes any student, no matter his or her ethnicity or background.

The Institute of Industrial Engineers (IIE) serves to enhance the professional skills of industrial engineers and individuals interested in productivity and industry improvement. We meet Tuesday during lunch. Remember, this is an open organization and welcomes students from any major!

Academic Council is a division of Kettering University's student government that meets Tuesday during lunch. The groups serves to lobby for student interests in academic matters. Any concerns pertaining to student policy, academic issues, etc. are pushed through this group. Meetings are open to students, wanting to express their concerns, issues, or suggestions.

Engineers Without Borders (EWB) at Kettering is part of the larger national organization. The Kettering chapter serves our local Flint community in building wheelchair ramps to the handicapped. In addition, the chapter has international project in Estanque de Leon, Mexico and Vukuzenzele, South Africa. The organization welcomes students of any major that is passionate and desires to give back to our local and international communities! Meetings are Tuesday nights at 8 pm, so come out and share ideas!

International club serves to the student body together. Emphasis is on bringing a diverse student body to common ground, in order to explore different cultural traditions and backgrounds. We meet Tuesdays during lunch and all students are welcome.

The Greener Engineering Organization (GEO) is a completely student driven organization that coordinates on-campus recycling, hosts environmentally conscious speakers, and works toward making Kettering more environmentally friendly, through both education and action. Members are responsible for emptying various paper and pop/bottle recycling bins around campus. A great way to get involved and help the planet.
http://www.kettering.edu/communityservice/GreenEngineeringOrganization.jsp
Meets Tuesdays @ lunch in Room AB-1335, the Student Civic Engagement Center (1st floor, AB, under the IT department and the SARC) Food provided.

Laser Tag Club: Meets once a term to sign up for the lock in. Watch for fliers. (Usually around 6th week)
Laser Tag Club serves as a way for students to take a break from the busy grind of school and get away from campus. An all night lock-in filled with lasers, snacks, and bonding with one's fellow students. Who doesn't like lasers?

The anime club, founded almost two years ago, seeks to promote the understanding and acceptance of both anime an Japanese culture on the Kettering Campus. Starting with anime showings, it has grown to encompass drawing lessons, cultural presentations, joining the national association of anime clubs (Mu Epsilon), and much more; with bigger plans to come. Come experienceing one of Kettering's largest and fastest-growing clubs as it soars to the heights beyond the reach of fandom alone!Meeting times: 6PM-12AM on SaturdaysLocation: Room 1817 (Academic Building, near the international and Industrial Engineering offices)


PERSPECTIVE:
Transfer Student - Biggest changes from one school to Kettering. What works at other schools that could work at Kettering, and what Kettering has that other schools don't (other than the co-op). Why did they transfer?
Freshman - What do they see that upperclassmen are missing? What are their thoughts about all of the activities and fraternity recruitment?
International – How did they hear about Kettering? What made them choose KU? Did they have any problems finding a job as an international student? (for some – What is it like travelling back home for work every three months?)
Senior – Are you satisfied with your experience at Kettering? What are your regrets from college? What were the best choices you made? Any tips for the freshmen?
Alumnus­ – How has the school changed since you were here? Tell us why your section was better than the other (My father and uncle were actually both here for overlapping years, but in opposite sections. I think they might be able to do a cool piece.)
Professor – What do you love about Kettering? How do the students compare to other places you may have taught? How did you choose your field?
Staff member – Why did you choose Kettering? What do you like here? If you could change anything about the school, what would it be?
Greek Student – Opinions of IFC, rush, and why they chose to become involved in Greek life
Independent student – Why they chose to remain independent, did they rush freshman year? Have they rushed subsequent years? Why do they not like being involved in Greek life?

STUDY ABROAD Q&A – Hitting on subjects like tuition, financial aid, and the experience from students who have gone to study abroad

COLLEGE TOWN PROMOTION – I just really want to do something to actually get involved in turning Flint into what it could be. I don’t know what to do, but I think we should try to partner with other schools and their media distribution to get events and promotion going. Maybe host a volunteer activity to clean things up a bit around the streets and advertise through ourselves? No idea where I’m going with this yet.

HEALTH AND WELLNESS: STI’s – They are dangerous and some of them don’t go away. Use condoms, kids. Seriously. You don’t think it’s an issue until you realize the percentage of American adults with herpes. Somewhere around 25%, I think. One in every 4 people with whom you have sexual relations should statistically have herpes, not to mention the other diseases and infections available. Be careful, know your partner’s sexual history, and PLEASE get tested before starting sexual relations with someone. It should never be a whim. Think about what you are doing. The consequences could stay with you forever.

RECENT LAYOFFS­ – There were a lot of them. Talk about them, why they happened, and what it means to the students.

Community Service - A preview of the big community service events coming up this term, namely the Soap Box Derby. It’s been expanded this year to become an all day event, with a poker tournament, inflatables, one or more radio stations doing things, as well as the always popular soap box derby itself. Perhaps Mr. Roggenbuck can provide more details.

Up ‘Til Dawn - An article about the return of Up ‘Til Dawn, both an announcement and a way to drum up additional support for it. I can provide further details if you think it worth pursuing.

AHHHHHH!

School term is coming back up and I'm starting to freak out. I have a lot going on. Wait, you want to read my list of activities? Why didn't you say so?

I am only taking 19 credits, so school isn't such a big deal. Only bad day is Wednesday, when I have 9 hours of lab. The good news is that I don't think I will have to purchase food all term. Not only is it a rush term (so all the Greek organizations will be handing out food all the time), but I have so many clubs and activities that I either won't have time to eat, or I will be constantly fed.

WKUF is the school's radio station. I have a show (not sure what time or how long yet) and there are weekly meetings at dinner time on Tuesdays.

Allies is the GLBT group. I'm a strange combination of treasurer and secretary, so I have to be at those meetings. They are at Good Beans Cafe on Fridays after classes get out at 6. That takes care of my coffee fix for the term. I will have to announce via the current students page of the school's website that every other week, we will treat people to coffee if they go.

I am pretty sure I'm still the vice president of the school's Dance Club, and those meetings are supposed to be Thursday nights from 8:30 - 10. Not entirely sure what dance we will be learning next term, but we are thinking tango sounds fun.

The Technician is the school newspaper. I've already been assigned three articles to write for the first edition of the paper. My articles are due first week. I'm writing one about all the student activities, another about the school's statistics (various ratios including faculty:staff, male:female, ME:EE:IE:CHEM:CHME:AP:AM:EP:CS:CE:etc:etc), and a third about "student perspectives" from an international student, a freshman, a transfer student, a recent alum, and an upperclassman. Last term, meetings were Mondays and Thursdays during lunch.

The Pre-med club is not an official club yet. However, we meet most weeks and sometimes have food. By the end of next term, we should be an officially registered club. Usually, meetings are Wednesdays during lunch, because almost all of the members are in the same building all day for lab.

GEO is the Greener Engineering Organization. The president is my good friend Trent and I am thinking about going. Meetings will likely be Tuesdays during lunch.

The National Society of Black Engineers, of which I am inexplicably a member, meets during dinner on Mondays. They also feed us. Good work, NSBE. I think I mostly joined this for the mostly free food. (Mostly free because I pay $5 in dues for the year.)

I am also inexplicably a member of SHPE, the Society for Hispanic Professional Engineers. I could maybe pull of being Hispanic at least. They also feed me lunch one day a week. Not really sure which day that is.

I can probably never ever make it to SWE (Society of Women Engineers) meetings, as they are not in the Mott Building, but insist on being every other Wednesday during lunch.

There you have it. I am fed Mondays for lunch at newspaper meetings and dinner at NSBE, Tuesday lunch at GEO and dinner at Radio, Wednesday lunch at Pre-med or SWE and sadly no dinner, Thursday lunch with the newspaper and dinner with Dance Club, and I'm pretty sure SHPE is Friday, now that I think about it, so I'm set for lunch and coffee that day.

I'm thinking about getting a work study. Does this sound like a good idea?

Notes to an absent coworker

Today is your second day of vacation with your family and I just realized that you are my best friend here. Work is awful without you. At least when you were here, there was someone else to help bear the harassment that Jeff and Grant don’t even care that they are throwing out. I didn’t realize how bad it was when you were here. Probably because that meant that ANYONE else was on my team. Dave is sour, Grant is a hulking elementary school bully, and things are impossible.

You would tell me to take the whine out of my voice, but I want you to come back. I didn’t realize how much I would miss you when you are gone from the office. I love you because you are my big brother, my best friend, my protector and mentor. Your family is my family and I miss you all. I miss the way Beth treats me like a mix between another child and a sister. I miss the love I feel coming from all of your kids. They are almost like my own family. I want my babies to be like yours.

Over work term, you are my home. And I want you back.

Don't mind this!

I just want to make sure I don't lose this list. So the internet seemed like a good place for it. :)

General Education
ECON-350 -- SR II
Introduction to the Social Sciences -- ??
Senior Seminar: Leadership, Ethics and Contemp. Issues -- SR III
Written & Oral Communication II

Chemistry Core
Advanced Chemistry Elective I and Lab -- SR I
Advanced Chemistry Elective II and Lab -- JR II
Advanced Inorganic Chemistry and Lab -- SR I
Analytical Chemistry and Lab -- SR I
Biochemistry I and Lab
Organic Chemistry II and Lab -- SR II
Physical Chemistry I and Lab
Physical Chemistry II and Lab -- JR II
Senior Research/Seminar I -- SR II
Senior Research/Seminar II -- SR III

Mathematics
Differential Equations & Laplace Transforms -- JR II

Physics
Modern Physics/Lab -- SR II

Technical Electives
Genetics -- SR III
Anatomy and Physiology
Accounting Concepts or Introduction to Business -- JR II
Financial Mgmt and Business Law or Intnl Business -- SR I
Managing Orgs or International Finance/Marketing -- SR II
Marketing Fundamentals or International Mgmt -- SR III

Thesis

JR II - 18
SR I - 18
SR II - 20
SR III - 14

<3

Okay, so I have this boyfriend. He’s pretty cool. His name is Jeremy and he may be the only person who reads my blog. I love you! I hope you are having a fantastic day!

I also hope you update your blog sometime, since I gave you some material ideas with that Lady Gaga video and A Very Potter Musical and you have been promising to update for about a week now. Mind you, by “a week,” I mean “as long as I’ve been nagging about it” which is actually a lot closer to two weeks and three days or so. I know, I’m a terrible girlfriend and I need to stop nagging and let you be creative or whatever. Point is, I’m incredibly bored at work sometimes, and I know you work too, but it would be really nice to have ANYONE update their blog. Kate does a good job of writing a lot for her once-weekly posts, but only having something to read on Fridays doesn’t help as much as you would think it would.

This post is completely pointless. I just wanted to talk because I’m at work and have nothing else to do.

Thanks for reading it, love. Thanks for everything. You’re pretty nifty. I think I’ll keep you.

Work - Part 3

How I got the job: my mother worked at the hospital at the time. One of her coworkers was named Cheresa. Cheresa had a sister named Katrina. Katrina ran Summer Recreation. Cheresa liked me and my brother. This means we automatically got the job.

What the job was: Summer Recreation was basically glorified babysitting on our end. The “summer rec leaders” ran around chasing children for about 6 hours a day and got paid about $10/hour for it. Looking back, we were way underpaid. Well, the ones who actually worked were way underpaid. For the parents of the children, summer rec was a great way to be rid of your children for about the same period of time that school would have taken if it wasn’t the middle of summer. For eight weeks, you could send your kids to summer rec and they would be SEP. They could really make their children happy. They could feed them sugary cereal, then send them off to us to expend all of their energy. When they came home, they would be settled down. It was a really great deal.

Where the job happened: Port Huron has a lot of little kids. Therefore, we have a lot of elementary schools. About half of the elementary schools host a summer rec program. We were at Michigamme (mish-eh-GAH-mee) Elementary, about six miles away from my house.

I actually don’t have too much to say about this job. I learned CPR, ran around with children for hours every day, learned to play Stratego, and got paid some amount barely surpassing minimum wage. Oh, and an 8th grader decided he was in love with me. That made his freshman year of high school (my senior year) a little awkward.

Work - Part 2

There is actually a huge magic in being in the right place at the right time. That was how I got my second job – a job I loved very much.

I was a junior in high school and one of the favorite students of Mr. Tim Owens. Sr. Owens was our Spanish teacher and one of the two advisors for National Honor Society. I was the Service Chairperson and spent about a couple hours a week in Sr. Owens’ room after school every day tallying community service hours that students had signed and turned in to my mailbox in his classroom. I was just arriving to his room to start on this task on a Monday of early March. Sr. Owens was on the phone. He looked up when I came in and said “Christina, are you good at math?” I was in an advanced trigonometry class at the time, so I replied that I thought I was pretty good at it and asked why he wanted to know. “Go down to Mrs. Hopp’s office” was his response.

Mrs. Hopp was my well-meaning but slightly ditzy guidance counselor. I knew exactly where her office was and went down to see her. I hadn’t really been to her office since she came back from having her first baby. She had quite a bit of the weight left. I knocked on her door and she waved me in, setting papers aside. I sat down and she concisely explained to me that a family she knew very well (her pastor and his family, actually) homeschooled their teenage sons. They were 17 and 16, and both at the levels of juniors in high school. Their mother taught them, but she had a chronic illness and they had reached the point in their lessons that she didn’t really know the math as well. She asked Mrs. Hopp to find a student at her high school who could tutor for an hour a day, three days a week. I would be paid $10 for each session and would be teaching them Algebra II through the end of the book, then start them on trigonometry, carrying them through the rest of their “high school” time. I happily accepted the job, then went back to counting service hours.

The next Monday, I showed up to the Lavender house, which was only about three miles away from my own house. Candy, the boys’ mother, was a lovely and friendly woman. She invited me into their dining room, where the two boys – Nate (17) and Josh (16) - sat at the table, ready to learn from this girl they had never seen before.

I taught those two for a year and three months until we all went off to college. I sometimes wonder if they ever resented learning from someone younger than both of them. I feel like I would have had problems with it, but they never even hinted at such a thing.

Nate was terrible at math and didn’t seem to have much interest in learning it, either. He was a good kid, though. He complained about not understanding, but worked hard to try to get what I was telling him. By the end of every lesson, he could do the work I was teaching. Unfortunately, at the beginning of every lesson, he would say “Okay, so I got it when you left the other day, but I couldn’t do any of the homework.” He always seemed genuinely sad about this.

Josh was another story. Josh was never MILES ahead of my lesson, but he could anticipate where I was going with my lessons. I could always tell when he was doing it, because he’d get an excited light in his eyes and start writing. By the time I finished my sentence, he would push his paper over to me and say something along the lines of “Like this?” I’ll admit that he was more satisfying to teach because he understood better, but both were a joy to have.

On a few occasions, Candy would be too ill to come out and learn with the boys. On those days, she would leave my ten dollars on the table and we would work without her. Normally, on those days, I would teach for about twenty minutes, then we would just get into talking about friends and experiences and goals and plans for life. Those were some of the best days because they evolved from being my students into being friends. It was a nice thing to have out there. They were good kids and I was proud to know them.

Since we all graduated, I know that Nate and Josh both went off to study music. They have had a Christian band since I met them and they are doing pretty well for themselves. I doubt I was an important part of their lives, but I feel that they made a difference to mine and I am proud to have known them. I ran into Nate at the store over his summer break last year. He was with his girlfriend and he gave me a hug, then introduced me as his high school math tutor. I probably blushed. It is always good to see people who have learned from me.

Fridays.

It's the Friday before a long weekend. No one is going to want to do anything. HOWEVER, now no one CAN do anything:



The title of the email references Murphy's Law, which makes me very happy with the coworker who sent it out. All may be lost, but we can still joke about it on a Friday.

I hope it turns out to be a fantastic Friday for everyone. I am heading to Chicago as soon as I get out of work today. Hoping to drop a lot of money this weekend. :)

Work - Part 1

This is going to be like a resume in several parts, only with all the details you wouldn't share with an employer.

My first job:

I have always loved children. Once, while in Wisconsin visiting a friend of mine, Greg, we were hanging out at an airfield waiting to jump out of a plane and there was a little girl walking around. She was probably about four years old and ADORABLE. She kept walking by us and smiling shyly at our group of friends. Greg, who was sitting behind me, snapped his eyes shut as soon as I turned to look at him. "I can't see you, but you have that smile, don't you?" Greg has seen me around children before.

My first job was babysitting. Big surprise. I think most girls take on babysitting as their first job. I was in the seventh grade and my piano teacher had three children and was mildly pregnant (about a 4 on a scale from 1-in labor.) She offered me free piano lessons in exchange for watching the kids while she taught the other piano lessons. I loved those kids. The oldest was Kelly (seven years old, at the time) and she helped me take care of the two younger kids, Rachel (four) and Max (one.) Kelly loved reading, Max loved heavy-duty equipment and big toy trucks, and Rachel loved her outside voice. For four years, I watched those kids, eventually moving from getting piano lessons to accepting $10/day for them. While I helped out, Jenny and Gerald had two more children, Ryan and Ashley.

By the time Ashley was born, I was only babysitting for the family on major dates every few months or so and I would usually be there with them from 6 pm to 3 am or whenever they came home from their night out. I didn't know about Ashley until she was a newborn. I saw the family in church and Jenny introduced her newest daughter as "our latest. We didn't really know she was coming until a few months in." It was a VERY unplanned pregnancy, and Jenny's body had been reacting a little strangely from the last four kids anyway, so she hadn't even known until she was four months pregnant.

I still see the kids sometimes, but now that I'm in college, it's very rare. Mostly, I'll see the family in church. Ashley is starting kindergarten next year and I wonder when I got so old. Kelly is a sophomore at Port Huron Northern HS next year, Rachel is no longer the little runt of a girl she once was and has started her own babysitting. Max, who accidentally called me "Mommy" when he was very young after a long day of hanging out with them is ten years old. Ryan doesn't even remember me when he sees me in church. I watched him for the first two and a half years of his life, I watched him grow from a newborn to the a strong, willful child, and he has no recollection of me being there except two years ago when I babysat for the last time for them. It makes me sad.

These are definitely NOT the droids you are looking for.

Happy Nerd Pride Day! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerd_pride_day

Also, Happy Towel Day! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towel_Day

I hope everyone is having a fantastic day and nerding out. After work, I definitely plan on going home and watching bad sci-fi on Netflix (which is about the best deal ever, btw) and reading a Dresden Files book. I think this is a good plan.

Chapter 1 - Once upon a time

On the 18th day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to it's very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.
So I was born. And then what? I don't really remember most of it. There are videos and photographs and tokens to the city pool that spark the smallest flashes of memory to surface now and again. The time my parents were together is a time almost completely forgotten by now. I don't know how to tell my story. Do I speak in only my own observations and ideas and memories, or do I add the bits I have gathered from family gossip and my grandmother's loose tongue? I don't remember being at a store with my grandmother and seeing the man my mother was dating and saying hello to him. Until my great-grandmother was dying, I had no idea that my mother ever engaged in such activities outside of her marriage to my father. But, as my grandma's alcohol-induced conscience likes to inform me, it happened. Here is what I could gather:

Daddy was an alcoholic. Mommy was lazy. Mom stayed at home with us all day while my dad was at work. She was supposed to be taking care of the children during the work day. I have no memory of this, as it only lasted until I was three or four years old. My dad tells me that he would be gone to work all day (ten hours including his drive to Mt. Clemens) and he would come home and the house would be a mess and my brother would be screaming with a full diaper. The relationship was bound to fail. They are just too different. My father expects everyone to be their own person, to take care of themselves and their things, and to work for their keep. My mother likes to spend money and cook and watch television. She was beautiful and young and I'm sure she was very exciting, but they shouldn't have been married.

Two children resulted from their union. I am the oldest and my brother, Matthew, is seventeen months younger than I am. Usually, there are big differences between siblings, but I feel like our separation is even greater than most. My friends see him as a trouble-maker, an underachiever, and a danger. I'm sure his friends see me as a tight-ass, an ugly duckling, and a stuck-up bitch who feels the need to be better than anyone else. They are probably completely correct in that assessment. When I was young, I liked to build things. I also liked to talk loudly, to sing poorly, and to write stories. Not much has changed, except a deeper drive to work for myself and a much tighter budget.

I am my father's child. I always look for the best deal. I save my money. I worry about my debt and constantly review my plans for the future. I know what I want to do with my life and I work hard to attain it.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I think I'm done writing for now. Thanks for joining me and I will try to remember to post more tomorrow.

Ever hear the story of the three wells?

Well, well, well.


I haven't updated since I started this thing at the beginning of the month. I'm at work right now, but it is VERY nice outside, so I will be sitting on my back porch sometime tonight and writing something real for this blog. Actual blog post will be up tonight or tomorrow.

<3

Fights.

Him: See, completely different mood when I wake up. I can’t handle this. I tried to handle it before and now I remember why I unfriended you, and why I had to stop.
Maybe I will feel differently as time goes on, but as of this second I don’t want to go skydiving with you. We can’t be true friends until I’m not pissed at you.
I offered you an ultimatum months ago, and since you have picked your side, I should keep my word and stick to mine. I won’t understand how much you love him, but however much that is, that’s how much I hate him. Understand that. You have replaced me, so I should find a way to get on without you. That’s how I feel. I don’t want to have to deal with this or feel like this anymore. I can’t even think of what else to say, I am so mad, sad, and whatever else.
I want to stop wanting to hurt you. That WAS stopped for me the last two weeks. I hate the feeling, and I can barely live with myself when I only IMAGINE you crying.
Please help me cool off. Do or say SOMETHING.

Me: NAME! Whoa! I just got out of the shower to find five text messages. Give me a minute to absorb!

Him: I just want you to say something to me that will make it stop hurting termporarily. You’ve been able to do that before.

Me: I don’t know what you want me to say. If I knew what would help, I would say it.

Him: Tell me something reassuring. Tell me I’m wrong about something.

Me: FIRST MIDDLE LAST, you are my bff and everything is going to be alright. We are both growing up still.

Him: How long do I have to wait for you to fall out with (innocent) like you did with me? I have a hard time waiting that long; see how fucked up I got in just 2 months?

Me: Tell me again why I have to do that?

Him: Why do you have to what? You are telling me (innocent) is the one and he will be yours forever? Is that what you are saying?

Me: I am saying nothing except that I am happy with him

Him: I am saying I will never be happy with it. I believe you can be happy with someone I don’t want to run over with my car. I believe you fell for him because he did the “infamous” emotional swoop. He caught your attention only because you needed support through our breakup. Yes, he is otherwise a good person, but I fundamentally disagree with him taking advantage of my poor situation, and I will never ever be happy for you and him.
I think I might have had a second opportunity with you, were it not for him. I know at the very least, you and I would be better friends if he never existed. You had feelings for him long before we broke up, and if you had discussed your issues with me instead of with him, things would be different.
Right now, I don’t want to date you, so don’t go thinking I only hate him because I am not in his position.

Me: He had nothing to do with it. I practically attacked him just out of a six-year relationship. He did not exactly steal me from under you.

Him: I think regardless of you attacking him, it was his DUTY to say “no Christina, we can’t” and then completely avoid any further interaction with you, to avoid hurting his brother. I would have done that for him.

Me: He did try to stop me in the beginning. I want you to know that.

Him: I think you will hate me for hating this. We never fight about anything else. You could be dating ANYONE else, and I would have no problem.
You know me. I can’t hold a grudge. I even forgave (name of ex-girlfriend) for cheating on me. But I will never let this go, and I will hate it long after it is over.

Me: Then hate me, not him. He does not deserve your scorn. I have earned it for him.

Him: He was the one I knew it was happening, and you didn’t stop it for me, but now you will do fucking shit for him? How was his first time? Rockin’ I bet.
I can’t do it forever, and eventually my hatred for him is going to become dislike for you. I dread the day I remove you forever from my life.
You have decided that dating (innocent) is more important than having me as your BFF. Fine, I get it. Since that is your decision, I will acquiesce to your desire.
You don’t need me if he is everything. I am done enduring this. Fucking tell me what you really think of me. What am I to you? I am nothing.
I don’t want to go skydiving with you. I don’t want you to be there. Why don’t you go fuck (innocent) instead. I stopped myself just now from saying something truly terrible.
I want to be clear to you. MY decisions are all in response to YOUR actions. I can’t be your friend under these situations. I hate the world too much under these situations. I want to be myself again, and stop treating you like shit, but I can’t control myself under these situations.
Okay, I’m taking a deep breath.
I am probably going to berate you, alienate you, and make you hate me. And it is all (innocent)’s fucking fault. I have never hated anything before him.

Me: NAME, I don’t know whether to wait for you to talk yourself out or to tell you to go fuck yourself. I don’t need you in my life badly enough to put up with your PMS bitchy girl bullshit.

Him: Judge the situation. Is that really what you want? Is that really what you want to tell me while I am like this?

Me: No, but that is what you are leaving me.

Him: If I can stop myself from saying something I truly regret, will you stop yourself?
You don’t need me in your life? (innocent) is everything? Is that really how you want it to be?

Me: I did not say that.

Him: You have said it. You would rather date (innocent), and be with him, than have me in your life at all. What else do you want?
What do you need me for, hmm?
If I stay involved in your life, and you end up with (innocent)… I can’t accept it. I cant’ explain it more than I already have. I hope you understand it.